My intention with these two web sites (Ayodhyá and Fortress of Solitude) is to present whatever the quality truth is that I have appropriate to clearnet and darknet, both and each. Both audiences seem to relate well enough to the facts of my life and to some of my opinions about the likes of how drugs and cult religion may have partially helped me, partially harmed me. However, I find clearnet to be accessed more by theistic limitation and ceilinged attitudes about what happens to a persons life if he tries to be 100% truthful in his communication of the details of his lifestyle as it progresses.
Legal threat has given me reason to significantly reassess the workings of interpersonal interests in my heart, such that through the course of a year or two I managed to save myself from some errors in my own judgment and restore a genuine liking for more freely theistic pursuit of divine conscientiousness, such as had been building in my life for decades. My use of darknet is not to hide any harbored secrets, so much as the audience that acquires the knowledge and technical means by which to visit there is probably a more wisely mature audience, and so some of the ideas I have about roleplaying gaming and interfaith theurgy might be better presented within the pages I'll create therewith. You can easily enough visit if you are such an audience, and so see for yourself.
The question of why to use the Internet at all, clear or dark, to me falls within the greater category of consumerism, and I'm making a great deal of effort toward the transcendence of consumerism altogether, but for now I continue to express myself creatively here. I might cease and desist one of these days, in conjunction with a resolve to quit drug use, even caffeine, my current “drug of choice.” So, if I disappear and my writings lose update status, either I succeeded, or the IRS got me (that's another story).
This clearnet site is probably a good place to share some basic thoughts, but I'll maintain brevity due to the progress in my life's schedule from the alcoholic / clearnet emphasis of this past decade (2007-16 or so). Anything with much content that is truly ‘new’ will show up at Fortress of Solitude. That could go as far as 2025, or maybe I'll find correction to my pathworking sooner and will revise any aspect of my approach to life.
Close to the year 2000, I went through a major exorcism of spirituality that affected every aspect of my world. Prior to that shift, Lord Viṣṇu (יהוה or ‘YHVH’, our Father God) had been Third Person Deity, but the removal of kuṇḍalinī and cakras (which seem respectively to be related to serpentine and entomoid zoomorphs) gave room for a more direct quality of communication with the Vaiṣṇava multiverse. Now, eighteen years later, I'm approaching a comparable adjustment (starvation to be exact) of my use of psychoactive chemicals, which I'm finding allows for an even humbler participation in standard theurgy toward becoming a Viṣṇu myself, though thousands of years stand between such a lofty achievement and the lowly Agni position of the beginner that I am.
Theoretically, eighteen years from now, a similar purge of dependency upon the written word will become appropriate, where until then I'll be researching every theurgical aid I can find in the rulebooks and scriptures of Earth. For now, I'm just enjoying the challenge, though so much of it confronts fears of death and policing and loss of social acceptance. Taking on Agni's creator role within this universe I've been given, by my distinctly superior Deities (Tulasī and) Lakṣmī and Viṣṇu above, puts me to the test very constantly and to my limits, but I continue to love this choice I'm making.
